thanks, tenth ave north.

I guess because I'm holding onto this silly hope that I'll be able to go see Tenth Ave North Thursday night and meet up with my church from home, I've been listeningto them a lot for the first time since last school year. I forgot how much I love some of their songs, even though a few of them really make me think about my relationship with God a little more somberly than I usually do.

I've told a few people how I tend to forget that emotions like sadness, and disappointment, and even anger are ones that I'm allowed to feel, that I can let people close to me know I'm feeling them. And I suppose I block God out of those things too...I kind of do this lame thing where I get embarrassed to turn to God--even moreso than when I turn to Him with sin that's weighing especially heavily--when i'm upset about something human. I guess I forget that God knows before I tell Him that something is hurting me--like homesickness, for example--and that I don't need to be embarrassed, especially in front of Him.

And though that last paragraph admittedly came out in shambles (my apologies for that), the 10th Ave. N. song "Times" kind of helps me come to more healthy terms with how I can turn to God with my day to day burdens, and not be ashamed that I'm sad, or angry, or numb (the worst, I think, and the most self-defensive). The lyrics can be found at...

http://www.sweetslyrics.com/587615.Tenth%20Avenue%20North%20-%20Times.html

I love how the song starts off with admitting that the songwriter has the knowledge that (s)he needs to turn to God, but that the fear still exists--for me, of looking dumb in front of God for being upset about typical, fallen human things. And as I said before, I can definitely identify with that. I think my favorite part, though, is at the end where the songwriter spoke about God's POV of His relationships with each of His people. It's just such a comforting reminder that God's love for us isn't diminished when we struggle to believe He's got our best interest in mind, or when we're especially broken, or when we can't feel, when we go numb into self-preservation mode.

God is good.