Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it., part 2.

Above all else,
guard your heart,
for everything you do
flows from it.
(Prov. 4:23, TNIV)

2. to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure.

now this one took me a little bit longer
to come to terms with.
i mean, let's be real.
i'm five one on a good day,
asthmatic, a duck-runner,
and lacking in the bravery department.
a.k.a. pretty replaceable.
and i've never really thought much of that.

so that wasn't a helpful way for me
to start thinking about that.
how about God, then?
i can think to myself,
or tell my friends,
or shout out my dorm window
that God is irreplaceable.
and i believe He is, i know He is!
but how many times a day
do i chose to replace Him, do i decide
that something else is more worth
my time,
my energy,
my focus?
too many.

and God knows He's irreplaceable too,
He doesn't struggle to feel essential to someone,
because none of us can make it without Him.
so how much more does it hurt Him,
the highest irreplaceable,
the reason we're here,
and the biggest adventure,
when we choose to replace Him?

so chicas,
our longing to be irreplaceable
is a reflection on God's heart as well.
there is some really awesome biblical
evidence of this shown through eve and
some other old testament word choices that
i won't heap on you here, especially since
I WOULD LOVE FOR US TO READ THIS
TOGETHER THIS SUMMER,
but long story short, God created us to be irreplaceable.
God's intention for us is to fill an irreplaceable void that
man alone at creation was missing.

for some reason,
my short, weak,
asthmatic, duck-running,
courage-lacking self is irreplaceable,
and i'm excited for God to show me why that is.

also, listen to switchfoot's "needle and haystack life." =]

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Above all else,
guard your heart,
for everything you
do flows from it.
(Prov. 4:23, TNIV)

i do this thing where i assume that
anything i am feeling deep in my heart is either
wrong, or worldly,or weak of me to feel.

i assume--because i spent 18 years of my life
chasing after the world, and leaving my heart
with its guard down--that the things most embedded
inside of me are warped, or wrong, or leftovers from
before.

and then i picked up Captivating.
Now, if you're a girl,
and we are friends at home,
and you are reading this
(and i know that 3 of the perhaps
10 people who read this fall into that category),
LET'S READ THIS TOGETHER THIS SUMMER.
but the very beginning touches on three
desires that God put deep in the hearts of women,
three things that reflect back on Him, on His own heart.

1. to be romanced

think about it. God is such a romantic.
the fact of the matter is, He created humans
with the capacity to choose to love Him,
or to choose not to love Him.

He didn't decide, "you know what? they're my creation.
they won't have a choice but to love me."
because that isn't love!
love can't be forced on people.
love isn't an emotion, or reflected
in a singular, quantifiable way,
love is a choice.

and more than that, God wants to be desired by us...
He has infinite power! and instead of using that to force
us to "love" Him, He's waiting on us to want him,
He desires to be longed for, and sought after,
and romanced....and i know that feeling too.

and what's better is that God is actually the best
romancer ever. once we let Him in our hearts, He'll
pursue us more diligently than anyone on earth ever could...
let Him do that.

and for the past two years, i've been telling myself,
"romance is bad. nothing good comes from romance.
it's not real. it's constructed and fake and why am i
crying when i watch "you've got mail" anyway?"
but romance is something from God...
not something to be ashamed of,
or scared of, or even avoided.
it's just a matter of romance in the right context,
of listening to God through it,
and ultimately realizing that though
much romance has been twisted by the world,
it is still a gift God gave us,
and a echo of his own heart.

check out switchfoot's "enough to let me go,"
and i'll post parts 2 and 3 of what God put on our hearts
in the next couple of days.

the garden

song link here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li8aiGtNyZo&feature=related

needtobreathe has a song out named
"the garden," with the title coming from
jesus' time in the garden of gethsemane.
(see matthew 26:36-46 or mark 14:32-42)

the lyrics are ...

Won't you take this cup from me?
because fear has stolen all my sleep.
If tomorrow means my death
pray you'll save their souls with it.
--
In this hour of doubt I see
who I am is not just me
so give me strength to die myself
so love can live to tell the tale.
--
"Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.
Father let my heart be after you."

first of all, the song is
just completely beautiful
to listen to, slow and kind of
pulling you from word to word.

The beginning of it is so
reminiscent of jesus' humanity--
something i tend to forget sometimes.
i'm cool with him being god--
but understanding his humanity is
tougher for me. it also gives me
comfort in sometimes fearing things.
jesus straight up tells this to his
father, like

"listen dad, i'm scared. i'm
downright petrified. can't you
do this some other way?"

but then right away the lyricist
reminds us that jesus sacrificed
his comfort, fears, LIFE for
god's will. jesus acknowledged that
not only was he a scared human,
he was also fully god himself,
and also the full and perfect
sacrifice for the sins of us all.

the funny thing is, when i started
this post, that wasn't the point of it.
my absolute favorite part of the song
is the chorus. it's such a beautiful
and simple and pure prayer...

let the songs i sing bring joy to you.
god, i know that some day i'll be able
to worship you perfectly, the way you
deserve and the way you created me to.
but for now, help me to worship you
with everything i do and desire and think.
help me to do it solely for you--for your
glory--and god, i pray you find it pleasing.

let the words i say confess my love.
help me find words that reflect how
much i appreciate the new life you
gave me--how much i appreciate your
love, god. guide me to turn to you in
constant prayer that reflects how much
i care about you, and let my words to
others reflect that love that you gave me,
that i confess back to you.

let the notes i chose be your favorite tune.
god, show me how to praise you better.
show me your will-your preference-your
favorite and planned path for me, and help
me to chose the things that please you.

father, let my heart be after you.
help me to pursue you in everything i do.
help me to pursue your will, god,
and understand you better.
guide my fickle heart to focus on you
and to fall in love with you more
every day.



god is so good.

god and his people.

so (like yesterday's post indicates), lately
God's been showing me a lot about
how interpersonal relationships reflect
His relationships with His people.

for instance,

i get pretty upset when i feel like the
people i love are making plans that i
could be included in that exclude me.
and that makes me realize how i hurt
God when i make plans in my life without
including Him, or listening to his direction.

and also,

i hate it when i know something about
someone--like if a friend is hurting or
something awesome happened that they're
super excited about-- that they haven't
told me. and i think it hurts God when we
don't tell Him about the things that matter
to us--He already knows, but He wants to hear
it from US.

one of my friends recently posted
about the emotional separation that
sometimes comes with distance, lack of
communication, or even just a lack of
spending time in the presence, of the
people you love. i think it really points to how
heartbroken God is when
we lose contact with Him,
put off quiet time,
forget to pray.

you know what i mean?

so besides it being amazing that God gives
us human-sized examples of how much He's
invested in relationships with us, it also exposes
how i'm falling short.

PTL for pursuing a relationship with
me, with all of us really, even though He
knows that we'll let Him down time and time again.

hey God, way to be the best at loving.

i shouldn't be blogging right now.

this will probably be a much shorter post than usual,
particularly because i have class in a half hour and
should probably be doing something more effective
with my time. oh well.

something i've noticed more as i grow up is how
much we're all like our parents. now before your
"she's making an annoying, sweeping generalization"
red flag flies up, i realize that yes--we're also pretty different.
we all have different personalities and interests and
maybe even different beliefs. however, i think the mannerisms
and idiosyncrasies that we have tend to reflect right back on
our moms and dads. in fact, for some reason this has been
on my mind lately and in reflecting on seeing my friends
and their parents, i can see it all over the place..
be it the way they cross their legs, or a facial expression,
or just the way they move.

and i think the coolest part of it all is how it reflects as
an awesome, earthly example of how God made us
in His image and LIKENESS. just as we are like our parents
a lot more than we realize, we're actually much more like
God--our capital "F" Father--than we realize.
sure, we have human limitations and shortcomings and faults
--and we won't fully understand God in this life--
but through His grace He gives us the Holy Spirit
to live in us and reflect Him! How cool is that?

And the ways that we differ from our parents doesn't dispute this,
but instead shows how infinitely creative God is--
every single character trait each of us possess
was picked out for us and designed by God for
the good and ultimately for His glory!

I just think that's so exciting.
PTL :-)

thanks, tenth ave north.

I guess because I'm holding onto this silly hope that I'll be able to go see Tenth Ave North Thursday night and meet up with my church from home, I've been listeningto them a lot for the first time since last school year. I forgot how much I love some of their songs, even though a few of them really make me think about my relationship with God a little more somberly than I usually do.

I've told a few people how I tend to forget that emotions like sadness, and disappointment, and even anger are ones that I'm allowed to feel, that I can let people close to me know I'm feeling them. And I suppose I block God out of those things too...I kind of do this lame thing where I get embarrassed to turn to God--even moreso than when I turn to Him with sin that's weighing especially heavily--when i'm upset about something human. I guess I forget that God knows before I tell Him that something is hurting me--like homesickness, for example--and that I don't need to be embarrassed, especially in front of Him.

And though that last paragraph admittedly came out in shambles (my apologies for that), the 10th Ave. N. song "Times" kind of helps me come to more healthy terms with how I can turn to God with my day to day burdens, and not be ashamed that I'm sad, or angry, or numb (the worst, I think, and the most self-defensive). The lyrics can be found at...

http://www.sweetslyrics.com/587615.Tenth%20Avenue%20North%20-%20Times.html

I love how the song starts off with admitting that the songwriter has the knowledge that (s)he needs to turn to God, but that the fear still exists--for me, of looking dumb in front of God for being upset about typical, fallen human things. And as I said before, I can definitely identify with that. I think my favorite part, though, is at the end where the songwriter spoke about God's POV of His relationships with each of His people. It's just such a comforting reminder that God's love for us isn't diminished when we struggle to believe He's got our best interest in mind, or when we're especially broken, or when we can't feel, when we go numb into self-preservation mode.

God is good.

The Unlikely Disciple by Kevin Roose

The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University

By Kevin Roose

Because I’d really like to find a group of people who want to read and discuss this book together, this might be a little vague, but I don’t think that introducing a few general concepts that it arises is spoiling anything, really. I kind of stumbled upon the book (hey God, you’re cool) and read it on a whim. The general overview is that Kevin Roose of Brown Univ., which has a reputation of being one of the most Godless schools in America, decided to spend a semester at Liberty University, described by its founder and since-deceased president as Jesus boot camp, a breeding ground for evangelical champions of Christ. Roose’s goal was to try to find ways to bridge the God divide of which we’re all familiar, through getting to know what it’s really like to live as an evangelical. It turns out Roose assumed correctly that if his peers at LU knew he wasn’t saved, he probably wouldn’t get the real picture, so he decided to go undercover, disclosing his liberal views, casual Quaker upbringing, and motives—but not maliciously. Throughout the entire book, Roose doesn’t make easy Christian jokes or portray LU students as stupid at all, which I admit I thought he would.

Reading the book opened my eyes to a viewpoint I’ve never experienced before—I’ve seen evangelical Christians through the lens of a self-righteous religious, the person I grew up as, and I’ve evangelicals as one, I’ve been trying to live for Jesus for about a year and a half now—but I’ve never looked into Christianity from where Roose does. So the rest of this post will consist of just a few interesting points of discussion, things like questions, observations Roose makes, and ways that I feel like God is putting on my heart to try to change how I interact people. Please leave a comment if you’re interested in reading the book with me, or just feeling like sharing your opinion or something else to consider.

LU’s mission statement includes a commitment to political conservatism, and how Christianity and the Right need to be intertwined . Personally, I know many beautiful Christians who aren’t conservatives, and I feel like they are onto something, though personally my small, small knowledge and opinion of politics would classify me as a conservative. So how important, really, is it for Christians to be politically conservative?

Something I realized the summer of 2008 is how palpable Christian culture is. We joke at school all the time about words like “piggybacking” being so common in Christian circles, Settlers being a Christian game, and the fact that without Christians, the board game industry just might go under, but really—there is a distinct culture that can make a new Christian or a nonChristian feel really uncomfortable and Christians seem like exclusivists. So what to do? Try to separate from Christian culture all together? Have one culture—and this may mean different personalities—for one sphere of people and one for another? Neither are good options.

One of the most emphasized points in Roose’s book is the casual use of words like fag, queer, and gay, almost as “acceptable” insults and swear words among Christians. Of course, this is a generalization, which a vague point can’t help but include, because obviously not every Christian does this, but I encounter both those who do and those who don’t within my Christian friends. I don’t even have much of a question for this one, but I think that is not cool or right or in any way loving at all. And really—Roose’s book proved that even if we think we’re okay to say those words because we’re only with Christians at a given time, those words are still so unnecessary, negative, and unloving when used as insults or derogatively or even jokingly, and we’re all smart enough to think of different words to express our points. Consider it like this—imagine someone who doesn’t know you using a word you use to describe yourself—teenager, or student, or extroverted, as a putdown to someone else. Odds are, you’re not going to be very open to friendship with that person, or respect what they have to say. So why do that to someone? Avoiding using those words conveys that you’re not going to shut someone down based on one thing you know about them. Come on y’all, we believe we have a message to spread, don’t we? And from what I remember, that message isn’t hate.

The book exposed a few great, exciting things about Christians too—Roose conveyed a really interesting point near the beginning of the book. If you’re reading this and I know you, you’re a college student (or at least of college age), and the vast majority of us are at secular schools. By definition, we’re figuring out who we are and what we stand for and believe, and living in a time where individuality reigns supreme. So then, how is it that so many of us willingly profess the same thing? Imagine a Well, for those of us who are Bucknellians. There are people from all walks of Bucknell—athletes, Greeks, freshmen through seniors, engineers, humanities majors, rich, not so rich—you get the picture. But we all agree on Jesus and living for Him. That is pretty freakin cool.

The book covers many other topics, like young earth creationism, barometers among believers, Christian dating and what Roose dubbed the “nuptial obsession,” homophobia, legalism, mental compartmentalization, apocalyptic-based action, racism among Christians, ways we evangelize, egalitarianism vs. complementarianism, and the power of prayer. Someone pick it up and read it. I’ve love to talk about it.

I hope you’re all having lovely breaks. Thanks for reading my short novel, I didn’t mean to write so much. I’m just excited about what knowing these things can mean, and the Bucknellian in me needed to write a 4-page paper (sike…but really).